Don't be myth led...

THE MYTH

"An infinite number of monkeys on an infinite number of typewriters in an infinite amount of time will type the entire works of Shakespeare"

THE REALITY

In the interest of science the only way to prove this myth wrong is to do it.

First we had a little trouble with the term "infinite", is that more than six? Because six monkeys was all we could round up. As for typewriters, well it was easier finding the monkeys. We got 4, 3 electric and 1 manual. So we had to double up a couple of monkeys.

Let me say here and now, you can't get monkeys to sit at typewriters and type endlessly. The little bast... er ... apes did a lot of running around the office, and not one knew how to use a toilet, so how they will type anything intelligible remains unclear.

Okay so we get all of them sitting at typewriters banging away at keys. On one typewriter the "n" sticks, on another the automatic carriage return doesn't work, and someone (IE: monkey) put something (we decided to say it was chocolate cake, though I don't remember there being any) all over the keys on another.

Another thing I'm curious about, how can 6 monkeys eat 4 pounds of bananas and leave behind 15 pounds of crap? What's the mathematical formula here?

Anyway the zoo called and said the police were on their way, so we had to say that "infinite" was about 40 minutes. (it seemed like eternity, trust me.)

The closest we got to anything resembling English was:

-Prufit
-Ternable
and
-Florgrift

Or maybe it's Greek, I dunno.

THE MYTH

"Monkeys are clean animals."

THE REALITY

No.